What if you’ve been looking for purpose in all the wrong places?
For years, I believed I needed a grand mission. A calling. Something that sounded noble on a resume and resonated like a TED Talk.
But what if that mindset—so often celebrated in self-help books and spiritual seminars—is just another echo of a system that asks us to perform instead of simply be?
The truth snuck in quietly.
Not during a retreat or a mountaintop moment. But while making breakfast.
I was spreading butter on toast. My daughter walked into the kitchen with sleep still in her eyes. I smiled. She smiled back. And for a flicker of a moment, everything felt right.
There was no audience. No performance. Just presence.
That was the moment I stopped chasing the big calling.
The Pressure of “Purpose” Is a Modern Myth
We’ve been sold a story: that purpose must be tied to a career. That it should be loud, visible, measurable. But this “find your calling” mantra?
It’s often just capitalism in spiritual clothing. A productivity narrative that tells women—especially those in midlife—that their worth must be proven.
It’s not your fault if you’ve internalized that. I did too. But let’s be honest—how many of us have felt burned out chasing meaning?
Dr. Rebecca Fraser-Thill’s Forbes article reminds us: even people in so-called meaningful careers don’t feel purposeful all the time.
In fact, research shows it takes just 20% of our work week being spent on meaningful activities to significantly reduce burnout. (Shanafelt et al., 2009)
So what if we stop chasing purpose as a full-time state, and start collecting micro-moments instead?
Meaning Lives in the Mundane
I find purpose in the pause before I answer a tough question. In the slow exhale before I speak my truth.”
In the breath I take before opening a tough email.
These are not glamorous. But they are grounding.
Moments like these are soul pockets—tiny containers of presence. And they matter.
Like a garden doesn’t bloom from one dramatic downpour, but steady drops of rain.
Our lives find purpose not in a singular mission but in repeated acts of quiet attention.
Let Go of the “Big Thing” Trap
Ask yourself this:
- Are you delaying your joy until you figure out your “real purpose”?
- Do you overlook the ways you already bring light into your world?
Sometimes we become blind to our impact because we think it has to be bigger.
But your compassion, your listening, your laughter—they count.
That five-minute walk you took to calm your nerves.
That time you forgave someone without making a show of it.
That moment you gave your full attention to your teenager instead of your phone.
That was purpose.
A New Rhythm of Fulfillment
Instead of asking, “What is my one great purpose?” try asking:
- What brings me back to myself?
- Where do I feel a sense of wholeness, even if only for a moment?
- What feels light, even when the world feels heavy?
This isn’t bypassing ambition—it’s rebalancing it. As Bailey & Madden found in their research, purpose isn’t a steady current.
It arrives in pulses. And those pulses are enough to sustain us, if we learn how to feel them.
From Performative to Personal
We don’t need to manufacture meaning for public approval. We need to feel it—privately, quietly, honestly.
You don’t need a platform to be powerful. You need presence.
You don’t need applause to know your worth. You need awareness.
You don’t need a five-year plan. You need five good minutes.
And you don’t need a calling.
You just need connection—to yourself, to others, to this breath, right now.
Pulse Practice: Your 20% Experiment
This week, take note of what moments feel meaningful—even if fleeting. Don’t judge them. Just notice.
Then ask:
- Can I do more of this?
- Can I weave it into my day, even just 5 more minutes?
- Can I let this be enough?
You may discover that wholeness isn’t a destination. It’s a direction.
Final Reflection: The Sacred Is Small
I once believed I had to build a mountain to matter. But now I know—I only need to notice the pebble under my foot, the breeze on my cheek, the soft yes in my chest.
This is how we return to ourselves. Not in one loud decision, but in thousands of tiny ones.
Micro-moments are the new mission.
And they’re more than enough.
References:
- Fraser-Thill, R. (2019). The Secret to Finding Purpose And Meaning At Work? It’s In The Moments. Forbes.
- Shanafelt, T. D., et al. (2009). Impact of Organizational Leadership on Physician Burnout and Satisfaction. Mayo Clinic Proceedings.
- Bailey, C., & Madden, A. (2016). What Makes Work Meaningful—or Meaningless. MIT Sloan Management Review.
