Best to Stop Trying to Fit-In & Fulfill Your Unique Path

A woman in a black coat and yellow shopping bag stands at a crossroads on a quiet pathway, contemplating her next step.
This conveys her moment of decision-making, capturing the uncertainty and possibility of new directions. — Image from author’s document Fit-In made on Canva.

The Wrong Question

It happened in a beige conference room with fluorescent lights humming above and a fresh pot of coffee and pastries on the side table.

I was seated at the long end of the table during our quarterly labor union meeting.

I nodded along while the executive director discussed quarterly status of labor cases and state and federal labor updates.

Then came the prompt:
“How does your role support the labor initiatives?”

I remember glancing at my notepad, pretending to scribble something insightful, but inside I felt… blank.

At the time, I didn’t have the language for it.

But now I know: I was experiencing a misalignment between my soul and the structure I was expected to fit into.

The truth? I was less interested in aligning with strategy and more interested in aligning with integrity.

I didn’t want to rise up the ladder—I wanted to rise up into myself.

Why We Must Stop Shrinking to Fit

A woman in a white blouse and black trousers holds her palm upright, her face reflecting a moment of doubt, as if asking, “Is this really it?” She questions her place within the expectations of her organization.
This version focuses more on her inner conflict and the emotional depth of questioning her fit within the organization. — Image from author’s document Fit-In made on Canva.

Today’s workforce is filled with talented women quietly asking, “Is this really it?” Especially in midlife.

We’ve raised families, led teams, and carried burdens that don’t show up on performance reviews.

We’re told that understanding how we “fit” into the organization makes us five times more likely to feel inspired (Mark Murphy, Forbes).

But what if that’s the wrong metric altogether?

What if that “inspiration” is actually compliance dressed up in company branding?

There’s a dangerous undertone in trying to fit into a system never designed for our wholeness.

The more we align with external strategy, the more we risk misaligning from our internal truth.

The River and the Reservoir

Trying to fit in is like trying to become a reservoir, contained, measured, and controlled.

But our spirits were made to be rivers. Alive, flowing, unpredictable, and wild in purpose.

Rivers don’t ask, “Where do I fit?” They ask, “Where am I being pulled?”

Your calling won’t come from a quarterly briefing or a neatly stacked org chart.

It comes from your resistance. Your longing. Your quiet refusals. Your deepest yeses.

A Real Moment of Truth

I once stayed in a role because the title looked good and the team made me feel included.

But every morning I woke up with tightness in my chest.

I ignored it, called it stress, and told myself to be grateful.

Until one afternoon, while writing an case cover letter with a tone that didn’t sound like me.

I paused and asked, “When did I start speaking in someone else’s voice?”

Was it burnout? Maybe a betrayal of myself?

I had slowly made myself small to match a mold that was never meant for me.

From Fit to Freedom: Try This Instead

A beautiful butterfly with vibrant blue wings, a black body, and an orange patch near its tail emerges from its cocoon, delicately hanging from a fragile tree branch. This moment symbolizes the power of small shifts in transformation and renewal.
This enhances the symbolism of transformation and renewal, emphasizing the delicate nature of change. — Image from author’s document Fit-In made on Canva.

Here’s what I now ask myself, and what I invite you to try too:

What feels off, even if it looks right?
When do I feel most alive—even if no one’s watching?
Am I trying to align with values I no longer share?
Is my worth tied to how well I please, or how deeply I’m at peace?

Start with small shifts. A deeper breath before you say yes. A journal entry written in your own words. A single task done from soul, not just obligation.

Spiritual Work Isn’t Always “Strategic”

In a world obsessed with goals and visibility, choosing inward alignment is an act of quiet rebellion.

Especially as women, we’re often praised for our adaptability, for “playing well with others.”

But that praise can be the very chain that keeps us from our true power.

Your spirit doesn’t care about productivity hacks.

It cares about presence. Stillness. Truth.

From Me to You

In a golden moment, a woman stands with outstretched arms, embracing the sunrise in a field of wheat, symbolizing the feeling of inspiration and a deep connection with her inner spirit.
This version captures a more evocative image of personal connection, blending nature and self-discovery. — Image from author’s document Fit-In made on Canva.

You don’t need to be more strategic. You need to be more you.

If the path to feeling “inspired” requires you to mute your instincts or shrink your spirit, then that’s not inspiration.

It’s imitation.

You’re not here to fit in.

You’re here to flow, to rise, to return to yourself.

Thank you for reading.

If it interests you, you are welcome to visit my Resource page with checklists and E-courses that may benefit you. Learn more here.

Want to Dig Deeper?

“The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” by Bronnie Ware reminds us that fitting in often leads to deep regret.
“The Art of Possibility” by Rosamund and Benjamin Zander offers a refreshing take on redefining purpose and success.
Forbes study by Mark Murphy (2019) highlights that alignment with strategy may boost inspiration—but asks nothing about authenticity.