You Can’t Google Your Way to Fulfillment—But We Try Anyway
How did I get here? —a still space.
Washing the dishes and the cell finally quiet.
Sadness percolated somewhere in my body.
The feeling of nowhere to go was pressing.
Like someone took the earth from under me without me noticing while I was performing and serving.
It had happened before.
I tried to stop it, looking for my way back up…
So, I did what many of us do. I opened a browser window and typed:
“What is my purpose now?”
Pages came up. Quotes. Listicles.
Morning routines of women who don’t wake up at night in a puddle of sweat.
Clarity, however, wasn’t among them.
See. No algorithm could have told me that meaning and purpose were two different things.
Moreover, I went around and around my head spinning the same questions and failing to see what would eventually be obvious.
I stopped patching the emotion and decided to be curious about it instead:
If I couldn’t Google my way back to Purpose, maybe I needed to first stop searching… for meaning.
Meaning and Purpose Aren’t the Same Thing—Here’s the Difference
Meaning and Purpose. Purpose and Meaning.
The way we toss the terms around:
“I’m searching for meaning.” “I want to live my purpose.”
Yes, they sound close. But they don’t vibrate with the same energy.
Especially when you find yourself standing in the space between where you were and where you’re going next.
◾ Meaning is made.
It’s made, often in the minutiae of each day. In places that sometimes feel small.
In the belly laughter with a good friend. Helping at the animal shelter. Writing a poem that no one will read.
It’s subjective. It’s personal. It’s fluid.
◾ Purpose is discovered.
Purpose is like buried treasure: it’s not on a map and not on a checklist. We excavate it. It’s an internal pull.
You can often hear it in the intuitive nudges or life-long callings.
Purpose stays mostly still over time, even as the way you express it transforms.
The punchline is:
Purpose, with a capital P, is not necessary to feel meaning.
In fact, filling your life with meaning is often how you begin to hear your Purpose.
Why This Clarity Matters—Especially in Midlife
You’re reading this.
That means you likely spent many years and energy supporting other people’s needs around you.
In caregiving. In a career. In marriage.
Any combination of the above.
It was serving outward. And you excelled at it.
But maybe recently, some of those plates came off the spinning pole.
A lot of us right now are feeling ourselves emotionally fidgeting.
You find yourself asking:
“Didn’t I do everything ‘right’? How did I get here feeling so unmoored?”
The answer, dear one, is:
You aren’t wrong. You’re outgrowing the old way of defining yourself.
Midlife isn’t a crisis (unless you make it one).
It’s an opportunity.
A crack where your soul is hitting the door with a hammer.
A time for shifting and sifting and redefining.
How to Find Meaning Before Fulfilling Purpose
“You don’t build a house by starting with the roof.
Meaning is your foundation.
Purpose is the architecture that you gradually see over time.”
Start Here:
Reconnect With What Lit You Up as a Child
Before the world informed you what to do—what did you do? If you watch the way you played, the clues are there.
Learn From Your Lived Experiences
Meaning often arises when you can finally observe your stories—without running from them. What moments added depth and texture to your life?
Practice Inner Work
Shadow work. Journaling. Therapy. Silence. These practices support you seeing yourself more clearly—and from there meaning emerges.
Visualize Your Deathbed Perspective
If you were on your deathbed, what moments would you like to repeat in your memory? How can you choose more of those now?
“Your life doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else to feel meaningful to you.”
Thank you for reading.
If you found this article meaningful, please support my writing here: Buy Me a Coffee
Further Exploration
The Difference Between Meaning and Purpose – Psychology Today
Meaning and Purpose: What’s the Difference – University of Michigan
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