Have You Been Surviving Instead of Living?
There was a time I thought joy was for other people.
I had my calendar full, my to-do lists never-ending, and responsibilities layered on top of expectations.
I was productive, reliable, and admired for how much I could handle. But I wasn’t truly living.
I was managing life, not experiencing it.
Maybe you’ve felt it too.
That subtle ache in the middle of the day—when the quiet creeps in and you suddenly ask yourself, “Is this really it?”
Longevity without aliveness is not the win we think it is.
A long life isn’t a blessing if we feel like we’re just enduring it.
The Slow Burn of “Fine”
We don’t always notice when joy begins to dim.
It doesn’t leave all at once—it fades in the shadows of routine, obligation, and quiet resignation.
You might be doing everything “right”. You’re paying the bills, showing up for your family, caring for everyone else.
But still feeling strangely empty.
It’s easy to think something’s wrong with you. That you’re ungrateful or broken.
But let me assure you: You’re not broken.
You’re just in motion.
What you’re feeling is the nudge that there’s more waiting for you.
And it’s not another goal or task.
It’s joy.
Not the flashy kind, but the soft, steady kind that makes life worth waking up to.
You’re Not a Machine—You’re a Garden
The world teaches us to optimize, hustle, and strive.
But you’re not a spreadsheet or a smart device. You’re a soul.
And like any garden, you need light, rest, nourishment, and space to bloom.
Joy isn’t something you earn. It’s something you cultivate.
Maybe joy looks like sitting in silence with your tea.
Or dancing in your kitchen to a song only you remember.
Or finally signing up for that pottery class just because you want to.
These tiny choices are not indulgences. They’re lifelines.
A Simple Practice: Ask Yourself One Question a Day
Here’s one shift that helped me reclaim my joy.
Ask yourself this question each morning:
“What would feel good today—not productive, not impressive—just good?”
Then honor it.
Even if it’s five minutes barefoot in the grass. Even if it’s saying no to something that drains you.
Or it’s crying in the bath because you’ve held it in too long.
Small joys heal the big wounds.
And when you consistently choose what feels nourishing, you slowly rewrite the script you’ve been handed.
This Isn’t a Midlife Crisis: It’s a Midlife Awakening
You don’t need to blow up your life or run off to Bali to feel alive again.
You just need to stop abandoning yourself in your own story.
You’re not selfish for wanting joy.
You’re not weak for craving softness.
You’re not lost.
You’re just shedding roles that never fit and making space for the real you to come home.
Let joy lead the way.
Not someday when everything’s perfect, but today, even in the mess.
Because a long life isn’t the goal.
A meaningful one is.
Closing Reflection
You’re not asking for too much.
You’re asking for more than survival.
And that matters.
May you start where you are, taking one kind step toward what feels real.
And remember:
You’re not broken. You’re just in motion.
Thank you for reading.
Additional Reading:
Cultivate Priorities That Bloom Vibrant with Focus
Harvard Study: What Makes a Good Life? Lessons From the Longest Study on Happiness
